Is Brit Hume the Dimmest Bulb Among TV's Talking Heads?

WARNING: This article contains silly subjective assumptions on my part.

With the retirement of Dan Rather, there was a void to be filled as the least intelligent TV news anchor.  For years Rather filled this role with aplomb.  He had that certain dimness, that indescribable blank look to the eyes that set him apart.  Us fellow morons looked to him as an inspiration that we too could aspire to the heights of success that Dan Rather achieved without the benefit of a three-digit IQ.

We must accept that the King is gone and now is the time to find the next candidate that takes the short bus to the anchor desk.

I have found the perfect candidate: Fox News' Brit Hume.

I chanced across the delightfully thick-as-a-brick Brit Hume while channel surfing.  And while he'll never replace the King, this is one truly idiotic anchorman.  In order to complete the drawing above, I recorded and repeatedly watched five minutes of his show, Special Report with Brit Hume.  During this short time, I heard him make several dunderheaded mistakes that easily put him out ahead (or behind) the rest of the TV Anchor crowd.  He has a way of sounding exactly like a parody of a shallow Anchor Man.

At one point, during this five minutes, he referred to the "So called, FISA court."  So called?  I guess if you call it the same thing that every other person in the so called America calls it.  Brit often has problems, with his limited intellect, to disguise his pro-GOP slant.

Also, during this time, he started to tick off an itemized list.  He refers to the first item as "A" and then, wouldn't you know it, in the four seconds elapsed, he forgot his whole format and referred to his second point as "Second."  Ahhh, true dim-wittedness.  Chevy Chase couldn't have done it better.

My favorite dunce cap moment for Mr. Hume came a while back when he was trying to make a point on how the casualties in Iraq are overblown by comparing the number of dead US Service people in Iraq to the number of murder victims in California during the same time frame:  

277 U.S. soldiers have now died in Iraq, which means that statistically speaking, U.S. soldiers have less of a chance of dying from all causes in Iraq than citizens have of being murdered in California, which is roughly the same geographical size.

When a guest (some smarty pants, I'm sure) pointed out that we had only 150,000 troupes in Iraq and there were 36 million people in California (this calculates that soldiers in Iraq are 42 times more likely to die than the Californian from murder), Brit could only mumble, "Well, I still think there's some truth to that."  

I got to admit he's right.  The truth "to that" being that he is a shameless shill for the GOP.

Brit Hume is an award winning journalist.  You are not fit to polish his shoes.

LQ

And actually, I'm a pretty decent shoe polisher.

I couldn't agree with you more.  About Rather and Hume.  Two peas in a pod.

RN

Didn't your Mother ever tell you that if you don't have something nice to say about a person, then don't say anything?

BU

I believe Brit usually wears a American flag lapel pin.  You have him with a W.

JS

Aren't they interchangeable?  I thought the Neo-Cons claimed the stars and stripes (along with patriotism and God) years ago.

Where you been?  

I don't think he's dumb, just a GOP operative.

HS

My point is that he's too dumb to disguise his partisanship.

And, I'm using "dumb" here as a relative term.  All these Anchor people can read, which technically puts them above idiot status.  I think, if you sorted them all according to raw intelligence, Brit comes out on the bottom.  

What kind of name is "Brit" anyway?

WR

My half-hearted stab at research has not uncovered the origin of this name.  So, as I tend to do when information is short, I'll make something up.

Brit is short for Brittany.  

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