George W Bush and his invisible watermelons - freesqueeze freelance artist

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- GW and his invisible watermelons

Bush's Invisible Watermelons

"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking"

- George W. Bush

I'm certainly no expert, but as a person who has lived, worked and gone to school in Texas for much of my life, I can remember only one other normal sized person walking like Bush does. It was this 5 foot 2 Italian guy from New Jersey. This guy, like Bush, sort of bowed up when he walked and held his arms way out to the side as if to compensate for non-existent shoulder muscles. I've also seen a few sterioded up pretty boys at the gym that held their arms way out the side because they had actually muscled up to such and extent to require it. Basically we Texans walk like everyone else.

Several possibilities of why a person would walk that way:

1. Broken shoulder bones?

2. Painful heat rash in armpits?

3. Over muscled or overweight?

4. Waiting for the deodorant to dry?

5. Want to broadcast your armpit odor?

6. Irritable stubble from recent armpit shaving?

7. Preparing to place two friends in a double headlock?

Does Mr. Bush fit any of these criteria? (no, no, no, no, no, no, and no - although I would love to see Bush bonk Rove and Cheney's heads together)

I have a personal theory that Mr. Bush is actually carrying two invisible watermelons. It is the best explanation I have been able to come up with. Please feel free to offer your own theory of why Mr. Bush walks with his arms held out this way. Until I hear a better explanation, I'm going with this theory. As the flimsiest of all evidence, here is a picture of Bush emerging from an actual melon patch with those invisible melons in tow.

The watermelon idea is a good one. I would disagree about them being located under his armpits though. I would place them between his legs in his groin. He has a lot of ##### but a miscule brain. Great depiction of why Bush walks the way he does.

Now let's analyze his oversized ego and glaring arrogance. Is that a Texas thing??? Maybe Psychiatrist could help here! Any diagnosis???

Oversized ego ... Texas thing .... Why would you ask me that?

You forgot one possibility.....

He's going to his hurricane making machine to turn it on so he can punish Florida for voting for him.

Thought I would put this in just to see if maybe some day it will begin to make sense.

Seeing how you obsess about him, you must have your ##### ###### in him!

Not obsessed, just practical. Drawings ridiculing Mr. Bush are by far the most popular items I've posted on my website.

Just another case of supply and demand.

Sorry about the censoring. This is a family friendly web site.

Obsess often? How many hours a day do you spend on hating Bush?

I abscessed once and the Dentist pulled a molar.

I hate no one. What brought that on, anyway? Geeze, can't a guy ridicule the way the President walks without entering the realm of hate? Hate is such a useless emotion.

All the pro-Kerry people can do to promote their weak and slipping candidate is:

1) To rundown the incumbent president with middle-school level humor like this "invisible watermelons" crap and
2) Turn 3 questionable months in Vietnam 30 years ago into single-handedly winning the war.

But it is 'low carb' middle-school humor for people of all ages.

You think I'm pro-Kerry?

Squeeze, you sure you're not JP (the jerk) posting under another logon?

I have only one internet ID. Can't you tell what a shameless self promoter I am? I have heard from reputable sources that I'm not the only liberal in this country.

www.freesqueeze.com/toons.htm << shameless self promotion

If you've ever been to Graumann's Theater in Hollywood, you know why John Wayne walked so strangely. Despite being well above six feet tall, he had the feet of a ten year old. Do you think Bush could have a similar problem?

I'll add this to my list of theories. It's as good as any.

When are you going to do draw that cartoon character known as John Kerry?

Oh, say about two months ago?

http://www.freesqueeze.com/kerry.htm

Kerry's face is a cartoonist's dream. He's got so much going on in that face. I hope to be honing my Kerry for the next 8 years (but he has to win first.)

Not bad (Kerry's) except for the eyes. Your depiction of John Kerry has living eyes, the real Kerry has dead or zombie eyes.

Let me write that down.

Kerry's eyes ... dead ... zombie, got it.

Uh, you're not a Republican by any chance, are you?

Two invisible watermelons that he probably pinched from somewhere!

I had thought of putting a silhouette of a guy, back in the distance, waving a pitchfork and yelling, "HEY!". But then I thought of the impossible task of proving that someone stole your invisible watermelons

Very entertaining....

Good work!

Come back when you get more time.

Excellent post, well thought out. My oldest son walks sort of like that (with the arm bit)... and it is ridiculous... his thought? "It's macho, dad...makes me LOOK tough!" ... it is so fake!

You better keep your eye on the little bruiser. At least he has an explanation for his affected walk

My "little bruiser" is now a retired Army sergeant...

Sounds adorable.

Analysts said he was trying to put on an impress-Dad posture, 'cause Dad never did think he was going to amount to much. The swagger, with elbows cocked out to each side like wings, is an obvious attempt to get love.

And you naysayers; this is serious stuff, so lay off the cartoonist!

I find it interesting when folks find a deeper meaning in my outright silliness.

And leave my naysayers alone. They add a lot of flavor to my web site.

It's discusting the grown men participate in this type of silly dribble. Learn something here, hatred can turn sane people into an absolute idiot.

I don't hate anyone. What brings that on? And how do you know we weren't idiots to start with?

Can't a guy ridicule the President without being accused of dribbling?

Watch out, I'm backing you up to the basket, elbow to the ribs and sky hook ....

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