Artist / Irritant
DON'T LEAVE WITH YOUR HEAD EMPTY
Here we are.
You have reached the least public page of my website (but not the least popular.) On this page, you'll find stuff that doesn't quite rank as a link off my main page but still rated inclusion. Basically this is ranting, raving and lunatic craving that I hope will get you thinking, even if all you're thinking is "This guy's an idiot."
Poetry: My own lame attempts at poetry. The literary advanced will want to skip this section and the next (OK, those people might want to skip this whole site.)
Lessons: What I learned in Business School
Quotes: Things other people have said that I thought were worth repeating.
Hair-brained Theories: No pressure to agree, just consider.
Tribute to Classmates: found no place on the web where these people were mentioned, so I'll mention them here.
Favorite Links: These are actually sites I visit and not sites with a linking agreement.
Haiku
Socks from the dryer
Toasty-toed morning magic
Angry bedtime stench
Stooge Trilogy
Moe
There once was a stooge name-a Moe,
Cut his hair with large chili bowl.
An artistic slapper,
The pursuit of laughter,
Never turned down a good pie-throw.
Larry
There once was a mench named Larry
He kept Moe close, he was wary
Expressions devine
Put this porcupine
In Hall-of-Fame's sanctuary.
Curly
We once had an icon in Curly
He was stout and comically burly
We fell to our knees
With Moe, Larry, cheese
He stroked out and then died quite early.
In this brief section I list all the lasting lessons I retain from my decade plus in Business School (BBA with Marketing Concentration.)
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Compound interest is a wonderful thing, as long as you're the one making it.
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If you put one amount in the number section of a personal check but write out a different number in the written section, the written section will be honored.
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The "life-time" referred to in a "life-time warranty" is the life-time of the company selling the product.
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Assets create income and liabilities do not. They should never be confused.
That's it. Thousands of dollars and countless hours of study and this is all I got. Hopefully Graduate School will be more rewarding.
Saul Bellow from The Adventures of Augie March
"All the influences were lined up waiting for me. I was born, and there they were to form me, which is why I tell you more of them than of myself."
Henry Miller from Tropic of Cancer
"Paris is like a whore. From a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. And five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked."
Margaret Atwood from The Blind Assassin
"The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read, not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself."
Wicked Witch of the West (while melting)
"Who would have thought that a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?"
Eric Burdon from "Spill the Wine"
"This really blew my mind, the fact that me, an overfed, long-haired, leaping gnome should be the star of a Hollywood movie. Hmmmm."
HAIR-BRAINED THEORIES (contents)
No One Knows What They Really Look Like
The Best Place To Sit In The Classroom
Your Professor Is Always Right (Even When They Are Wrong)
No One Knows What They Really Look Like
This theory stems from my many years of drawing people and dealing with their reaction upon seeing the finished work. Very often, the subject of the portrait is the least satisfied with the resemblance between my drawing and their face. The spouse is ready to rush out and get it framed but the poor model is less enthusiastic. I feel this is due the careful way that we all edit what we see in the mirror. If you have a deviated septum or a noticeable mole that has been there your whole life, you are likely to have trained yourself to look around it. It never changes, and you actually may not have seen that mole for the last 30 years. Maybe it's my fault because I will draw the mole if I see it. I won't draw anything that looks like it will heal, but all that permanent stuff is part of the face. (theories)
The Best Place To Sit In The Classroom
I have been going to college off and on since the middle seventies. I can attest that my grades went up considerably after I got off the back row, or just sitting anywhere that was empty and started purposely showing up early that first day and staking out my particular position. I also got older and more responsible but we'll ignore that to make the theory seem plausible. The position I take is two desks back and one row from the left hand side of the class. If the teacher stands at the front and looks out on the class, I will be on their right. If the room is one of those auditorium type classes, I will sit on the same side but instead of being two rows back I will find the row that puts the instructors eyes on the same level as mine. The closeness to the front of the class is because those that sit up front are better known to the instructor, and traditionally make better grades. I stay off the front row because there you risk exposure on those rare days when you aren't completely prepared. The left hand side of class is because most of your teachers will be right handed and as they lay the chalk down and turn toward the class, yours will be one of the first faces (or hands up) that they see.
One additional note about the back row: everyone knows that is where the slackers reside. Don't sit there unless you want to be grouped in with them. Professors are only human (in spite of the infallibility implied here.) (theories)
I worked for mostly female bosses in my life and I can tell you that in the top ten bosses on my personal list are 9 women. I know this is total opinion but I can just communicate better with women. They seem to understand me and are more likely to trust me to get the job done. This last item is the most glaring weakness in the male bosses I've suffered through. They will say they trust me but want to hover and watch to be sure it's done.
Male bosses look at the work their employees do as a sign of the leadership and female bosses look at the quality of their employees as a sign of their leadership. Men are about results and women are about people.
It's way past time for a woman president. (theories)
OK, so I haven't actually been to a private school. This theory is from all the times I've sat next to someone at a state college who had transferred from a private school. They are always blown away by the lack of personal attention and the amount of work involved at state colleges. The most whining always comes from some former debutante who's daddy has gone bankrupt or some guy who had his scholarship run out. These people get absolutely apoplectic when they get a whiff of the workload at a state supported college. I think basically in private schools, you get the grade you pay for. I am reminded that in the same year that George W. Bush was turned down at the University of Texas (state school) he gets into Harvard (private school.) I think that says it all. (theories)
You'll notice that on my website I never make the claim that these images are copyrighted and you should be weary of using them in any way without my permission. This is because I encourage you to steal my stuff. Who cares? What kind of ego would lead a person to put up a message like that anyway? The Internet works by copying the images down to your PC before they ever show up on your browser, so you're taking them anyway (help yourself.)
I don't like it when an artist's site has SAMPLE superimposed over all the images. Give us a break! These images are only 72 dpi and not even close to the detail and color of the actual image created.
So relax, look around and if there's anything here you like, help yourself. (theories)
Your Professor Is Always Right (Even When They're Wrong)
This is a tough one. You must not under any circumstances point out when your professor is wrong. If your teacher makes a mistake on the plotline from the novel you're discussing, don't even think about correcting them. Just pull out your book and correct the text to match the false belief of the teacher. These people didn't become professors so they could interface with students as equals. They have spent years acquiring special training and have a monstrous chip on their shoulder because they feel that they're underpaid. Make no waves and treat your professor as if they are infallible and your grade will be better for it.
NOTE: To my former, current, and future teachers. When I say you should be treated as if you are infallible you should not take this to imply that you are, in fact, fallible. (theories)
TRIBUTE TO CLASSMATES (contents)
Randy Pace
Randy was a friend of mine through little league baseball. We were on the same team several times and I played for his coach/father often. Randy was a happy young man with a permanent tan, big white teeth and a contagious laugh. He was found dead in his bathroom when he was in the eighth grade. I was shocked when Kal Davidson told me during our PE class and the shock is yet to subside.
Murray Sliger
Murray was my favorite cowboy friend in high school. He had a great farmhouse right on Main Street in my hometown. I loved playing there. Although he was part of a distinct goat roper clique, he had friends all over school. His family is one of the best known in my hometown. Murray died in a truck accident somewhere out west in the summer after our senior year. I started wearing my seatbelt the day I heard the news and I continue to today.
Randall Womack
Randall was obviously gay. He once tried to dye his temples gray in the eleventh grade and then, after he was teased so badly, tried to cover it up and turned those areas blue. He worked at a flower shop and laughed at the predictability of this. He was a great host and I got to know him in the twelfth grade in an attempt to meet some of the good looking girls that he hung out with. I never got anywhere with those girls but I learned that Randall was a special person (warm, loving, kind and very funny.) Randall moved to San Diego after graduation and died from AIDS in the eighties. You are missed, Randall.
http://www.carbuyingtips.com/scams.htm?x=0tekxgl_eoyyqkz_ttky3&y=0x34
Car dealer scams. Well worth reading if you ever plan to buy another car
http://www.getannoyed.com/general.htm
Ways to annoy people. They really work!
Ignorance fighting web site (aren't we all?)
Fight through the BS with this truth detecting site once recommended by Dick Cheney (he obviously never read it before quoting it.) Points out hypocrisy of all stripes.
News site with heavy left-leaning tendencies. Links added everyday.
Old friend of mine who is an animator. I think he's really talented.